Are you ever too old for collecting and is it wrong to have a collection as a man

[Gazpearce2015]

Are you ever too old for collecting and is it wrong to have a collection as a man I have a reasonable size collection and feeling a bit guilty 

 

Also are you ever too old to play with dolls and do you play with your dolls

[CHATTYBABY]

I think age and gender have no bearing on collecting.  What matters is whether your spending and space considerations are being met, and whether your collection brings you joy.  I play with my dolls nearly every day and it makes me happy to change their outfits or comb their hair, and I am old enough to get a senior discount at stores.

What gets a little trickier is whom to share your interest with.  Many people are dismissive and downright mean about doll collecting so I am careful how much info about my beloved hobby that I share.  I imagine it's much harder for a man to find someone who won't judge.

[ABSOLUTEMEISTER]

1 hour ago, Gazpearce2015 said:

Are you ever too old for collecting and is it wrong to have a collection as a man I have a reasonable size collection and feeling a bit guilty 

 

Also are you ever too old to play with dolls and do you play with your dolls

Welcome! The fact that you're here means you don't think so. The fact that this forum and collectible Barbies exists means that Mattel doesn't think so, either (and they want money). We have several collectors here who have been with Barbie since the very beginning and several collectors here who are men, so you have plenty of company. We don't care about a collector's age, gender, or other characteristics here and welcome all with open arms (as long as you're not a vulture who buys more than their fair share to sell for profit)! 

You are never too old to play with dolls, so play with them to your heart's content! I don't personally play with my dolls because I keep them NRFB, but there are plenty of people here who do and will not judge you for it. 

[chip]

It is perfectly ok for men to collect dolls.  Yes, you need to keep it to yourself.  I don't think some of the things other guys do are worthwhile pursuits, but I am not the one pursuing them.  Do what makes you happy, as far as collecting goes.  I share my hobby with very few people because of the stigma and the assumptions about men who collect dolls.  I have an extensive collection and I love it.

[DARDECK]

Doll collecting transcends gender and age especially on this forum.  This is a special place to share one's interest and feel really good doing so.  Welcome, join us having fun!!

[greenteaslug]

Im going to write about my experience as a male doll collector.

I grew up in a very strict household, my dad would get extremely violent whenever he found out I had a doll, played with my sisters or have anything even remotely feminine, including hugging, talking about feelings etc, and tbh it has ingrained that feeling of shame whenever I talk about dolls to anyone. I only feel comfortable in these online communities where there are adults similar to me, and wont judge me for being male.

Theres also this public perception of doll collectors, and specifically male doll collectors. In media, how are male doll collectors portrayed? Women usually have that "empty nest syndrome" and men doll collectors are stalkers, murderers, serial killers, "child enthusiasts" - everything negative, but there is that sexual deviant added to being a male doll collector. When I get a doll in the mail, the customs officer sometimes x rays or pulls down the outfit; why is a man buying a doll? There must be a sexual element to it. 

I remember the older barbie forums, some of the comments I would read, and some "ignorance" regarding gender and others (I still remember asking for a doll representing my region, and the most liked comment in the thread was "not for all the green tea in china!" made me quit fashion doll collecting completely and Ive moved to BJD's because I found them more open minded. These days, the community, specially the fashion doll community seems very welcoming, and im enjoying the boards because its at a slower pace than IG. The current community is incredibly nice and welcoming. 

I personally keep my dolls to myself. There is no need for outsiders to know. This community is a LOT kinder to men in a "feminine" hobby, than how men treat women in a "masculine" hobby like online gaming etc; the women get constantly harassed and bullied. Just something I keep in mind whenever I feel "unwelcome" in the hobby, the minority do not represent the majority. 

I think most of us here are adults, so if you need to connect or chat, collect etc - all of us are like minded and have each other to share our excitement, disappointment and chatter 🙂

 

[dpf1276]

No one is ever too old to collect anything - it's what people do and have done since humans evolved. Also, please don't feel shame for being a man who likes/collects dolls...it's taken me a long time to overcome that shame, and I dare anyone to say anything to me about it now (to be fair, I'm a small sassy Gen X gay man from the South who has dealt with a lifetime of harrasment, and after the indignities we've all lived through during the past 7 years, I've had enough nonsense and bullying and will slash anyone with my vicious tongue if they come at me 🤣 - this includes family members too). It's unfair that the assumption about men who collect dolls is that they are gay (nothing wrong with being gay, but everything wrong with making generalized assumptions about groups of people and what is right and wrong). Do I share my hobby with everyone I know? Nope - not everyone gets to know me at that level...not even some of the people I like, and it's not because I'm ashamed of my hobby. It's really because I've become very protective of my happy place (or what makes me happy or even having a happy place to retreat to when the real world goes nuts, which these days is in a constant state of nuttiness), and I have zero tolerance for bullies and jerks. I have to deal with stupid people when I leave my house but not when I'm in it. My Barbies are my santuary - mine - just looking at them makes me happy (or at least less annoyed). If someone has a problem with that, well, then that's their problem, and it's in their best interest not to make me their problem too...cause I bite 😂😳

[DARDECK]

30 minutes ago, greenteaslug said:

Im going to write about my experience as a male doll collector.

I grew up in a very strict household, my dad would get extremely violent whenever he found out I had a doll, played with my sisters or have anything even remotely feminine, including hugging, talking about feelings etc, and tbh it has ingrained that feeling of shame whenever I talk about dolls to anyone. I only feel comfortable in these online communities where there are adults similar to me, and wont judge me for being male.

Theres also this public perception of doll collectors, and specifically male doll collectors. In media, how are male doll collectors portrayed? Women usually have that "empty nest syndrome" and men doll collectors are stalkers, murderers, serial killers, "child enthusiasts" - everything negative, but there is that sexual deviant added to being a male doll collector. When I get a doll in the mail, the customs officer sometimes x rays or pulls down the outfit; why is a man buying a doll? There must be a sexual element to it. 

I remember the older barbie forums, some of the comments I would read, and some "ignorance" regarding gender and others (I still remember asking for a doll representing my region, and the most liked comment in the thread was "not for all the green tea in china!" made me quit fashion doll collecting completely and Ive moved to BJD's because I found them more open minded. These days, the community, specially the fashion doll community seems very welcoming, and im enjoying the boards because its at a slower pace than IG. The current community is incredibly nice and welcoming. 

I personally keep my dolls to myself. There is no need for outsiders to know. This community is a LOT kinder to men in a "feminine" hobby, than how men treat women in a "masculine" hobby like online gaming etc; the women get constantly harassed and bullied. Just something I keep in mind whenever I feel "unwelcome" in the hobby, the minority do not represent the majority. 

I think most of us here are adults, so if you need to connect or chat, collect etc - all of us are like minded and have each other to share our excitement, disappointment and chatter 🙂

 

I'm glad you joined this forum.  I find it very open and a wonderful place to share one's hobby.  Thanks for your candor!  BTW I l;ove your screen name!  lol, I had a slug for a pet as a kid.  I had a snake, some white mice, lizards, a lot of pets my friends hated.  I love all animals...

[DARDECK]

28 minutes ago, dpf1276 said:

No one is ever too old to collect anything - it's what people do and have done since humans evolved. Also, please don't feel shame for being a man who likes/collects dolls...it's taken me a long time to overcome that shame, and I dare anyone to say anything to me about it now (to be fair, I'm a small sassy Gen X gay man from the South who has dealt with a lifetime of harrasment, and after the indignities we've all lived through during the past 7 years, I've had enough nonsense and bullying and will slash anyone with my vicious tongue if they come at me 🤣 - this includes family members too). It's unfair that the assumption about men who collect dolls is that they are gay (nothing wrong with being gay, but everything wrong with making generalized assumptions about groups of people and what is right and wrong). Do I share my hobby with everyone I know? Nope - not everyone gets to know me at that level...not even some of the people I like, and it's not because I'm ashamed of my hobby. It's really because I've become very protective of my happy place (or what makes me happy or even having a happy place to retreat to when the real world goes nuts, which these days is in a constant state of nuttiness), and I have zero tolerance for bullies and jerks. I have to deal with stupid people when I leave my house but not when I'm in it. My Barbies are my santuary - mine - just looking at them makes me happy (or at least less annoyed). If someone has a problem with that, well, then that's their problem, and it's in their best interest not to make me their problem too...cause I bite 😂😳

My youngest son once thought he would upset me by telling his friends I still played with dolls.  I just smiled and said..."Yep".  Even women get ridiculed for collecting dolls.  I appreciate that here one can share the delights of collecting regardless of age and gender.  I still play with my dolls.  I love redressing my Pop Life!

[dpf1276]

2 hours ago, Gazpearce2015 said:

Are you ever too old for collecting and is it wrong to have a collection as a man I have a reasonable size collection and feeling a bit guilty 

 

Also are you ever too old to play with dolls and do you play with your dolls

I'm glad you've joined us, and I hope you'll find this community as warm, welcoming, and supportive as I have. I find Barbie people to be the best people, and I hope you'll experience that too 😊